It takes energy to consume thoughtfully; more energy than I expected. Which is probably why brands have made it so easy to consume with so little effort. They’ve saved my wallet information, my address, my shipping preferences; its two clicks and *poof* something is on its way to my house in 3-5 business days, and my brain doles out a tiny hit of dopamine as my prize. I’m pavlov’s dog but instead of a bell, it’s the Shop app’s friendly *ping* with the reward of clothing.

I understand the intense pull of consumption. I’ve deleted the Amazon app three times: delete, download, re-delete, re-download, re-re-delete, re-re-download.

We’ve made it too simple to consume everything almost instantaneously. Slowing down feels like it will make life more difficult, when it actually will do the exact opposite for us. Slowing down our rate of consumption is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural and life-giving. It may be two clicks to buy now, but I waste so much time and energy cleaning it, storing it, and finally donating or throwing it away in six months when I realize I never wear it and I have always hated polyester (frizzy hair, anyone?). Those actions suck up our energy too, but because we don’t quantify it, it ends up being a shadow cost of our consumption; something hard to quantify.

Similar to how we will give up our time (a seemingly finite resource) for a lower payment on a home (a defined resource). It is easy to quantify dollars and cents. We move 15 minutes further away from work for all the right reasons: a little more room, lower payment, closer to a park. But we lose countless minutes of our life per day driving further to see friends, driving further to work and the grocery store, not to mention the unknown cost of losing touch with those old neighbors. In many ways, the move is more costly to us, just harder to quantify in ways we understand.

It takes me time and research to buy clothing for two reasons: 1) I only buy second hand or items that are ethically made (read: made in America, Canada, or Western Europe of the most natural textiles I can reasonably find), and 2) like many of us, I need very little; my closet is comfortably full. Reason one restricts me on what and where I can buy. I have found I react well to boundaries in life, and by restricting myself to buying only second-hand or ethically manufactured items, it gives me an odd amount of mental clarity when shopping. That add for H&M? Not interested. Reason two is because I’m a middle-class American who spent too much on clothing for too many years. There is very little I truly need.

This past week, I brought out my cloth storage boxes that house my spring/summer wardrobe and went through what I have. I had forgotten almost all of it…. As I pulled things out and unfolded them, some were welcomed back like an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while; some items were like running into an ex-boyfriend: what was I thinking? After taking a quick inventory, all I really need are a couple of white t-shirts, another linen or cotton dress in black (I have one in white: Reformation, which I bought second-hand), and two pairs of shorts for when it gets really warm later in the summer. Two white t-shirts, a dress, and two pairs of shorts; pretty basic needs. **see edit below

Before I inventoried my wardrobe, I had a long list of wants: new jeans (preferably cropped) more button ups (because I don’t have one with that exact blue stripe), a skirt or two (which I never end up wearing), more Ponte pants, loafers, sandals…all sorts of things.

Now, I can shop with a very fixed end in mind. I have a few saved items on Postmark I’ve been mulling over (new, with tags!), and I’ll be doing a few second-hand store runs to see what I can find. I’ve also looked on the Frame and Paige Denim websites (all made in America) and Sezane (made in Spain and France) to see what they have in terms of white tees and shorts. I will buy new, if needed, so I can find something I will wear for years, not just seasons.

Consuming slowly and thoughtfully takes time and effort. Buying only second-hand or only ethically made items hasn’t limited my creativity or made me feel left out of the fash-un world (there’s fashion, and then there’s fash-un; don’t confuse them or YSL will haunt your dreams). I love my closet. I love the stories behind new brands and unique items I’ve discovered over time. Setting consumption boundaries for myself has done the opposite of restrict me; it’s freed me to shop in a way I feel comfortable and excited about.

**After hanging up my spring/summer wardrobe, I am no longer allowed to buy anything navy, white or light blue. Seeing everything hung up next to each other, you would think someone had told me they would kill all those I loved if I bought anything outside of this specific color palette. I’m fairly certain the DSM has a mental disorder to describe the symptoms of what appears to be a very specific type of color-blindness, where I can only see white, navy and light blues…. New rule: no more blue, stripes, or white ANYTHING. Everything I buy this spring/summer must be in a different color. Will report back.